


Part One: Just A Simple Clichè {Trans!Jaren x Gender-Fluid!John}

by cvibe_writes



Category: Banana Bus Squad, Gay baby gang
Genre: Genderfluid Character, LGBT+, M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 04:27:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20383666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cvibe_writes/pseuds/cvibe_writes





	Part One: Just A Simple Clichè {Trans!Jaren x Gender-Fluid!John}

_John_

The wind chilled my arms as I sat outside, the sky as clear as it could be in LA. Letting a puff of smoke escape out of my mouth, glitter shone on my hands under the moonlight.

_God, why are there so many people in there? The party was meant to be small_. My thoughts consume me, falling deeper and deeper into the void.

_"NO ONE WILL EVER ACCEPT YOU!"_ My father's words came back to me.

"John, are you going to come back inside? Craig said there's someone he wants to introduce us to." Tyler's voice distracted me from my thoughts.

If it were my choice, I would've just stayed outside, away from the noise and booze. But if I didn't come in now, Craig was would come and drag my arse inside.

"Yeah, I'm coming." With one last glance at the stars, I made my way back in.

Sitting between Tyler and Sami, the room was silent, waiting for the new arrival, only making my anxiety skyrocket.

"Why'd you have to get everyone to be quiet? I was happy just ghosting around."

A familiar chuckle filled the air, followed by the clicking of shoes on the floorboards until Craig stood in front of us next to him was another boy our age in a baggy jumper and jeans.

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Jaren. He'll be joining the gaming club at school next week." Craig stated, he looked like a kid whose parent told them that they were allowed to get candy from the shops.

I zoned out, not really caring what Craig had to say, regretting my decision of even coming to this stupid party.

"Hi, you seem lonely," a voice pulled me out of my brain once more, looking up I saw the poor kid that Craig had made a spectical of.

"Yeah, hello," I mumbled, noticing that everyone had disperced once more, music blaring from somewhere in the house driving me insane.

"I mean you know my name, I've pretty much met everyone else. What's your name?" He sat on the other side of the futon, giving us both enough personal space.

_Finally, someone who knows what personal space is_, "John, my name is John," I replied, already wanting to be back out under the stars alone, with my vape canister and horrible brain.

"Oh. I heard some of the others refer to you as Joan."

I snorted, knowing exactly who they were, "Yeah. It depends, some days I'm John and some I'm Joan. It just depends on how I feel on the day I guess." It was hard for me to explain it to people I know, let alone some guy I just met.

He shuffled his feet, "Oh, I know that feeling, kind of." His reply was almost a whisper.

I raised an eyebrow, rolling my eyes to myself, _How could some random kid undertsand me better than my friends?_

"Legally, I have to introduce myself as Jaren, my school papers say so. My name is actually Rena, I begged my parents to put that on the papers for this school, but they refused. Insisting my name was Jaren and that's what they'd sign on the documents." I noticed him scratch his wrist.

_Nervous_.

I swallowed my pride, turning to face him, "So, why'd you choose to tell me?" It was an honest question that I wanted the answer to.

"Everyone else is drunk for one. Two, they don't look like much of listeners. Three, they are the least fucking real people I've ever seen, wasted already and the party's only been going for two hours."

_Hiding the fourth reason, must be something personal._

I shrugged, "Alcohol doesn't interest me or I'd be wasted too." I pointed out, " I got used to listening to people's problems because I didn't want them to feel like me. None of them respect my choices, no matter if I'm John or Joan. But they're my friends and I'd have no one without them." I hated myself, why am I telling him all of my problems? He's a stranger.

He giggled, covering his mouth, looking down, "Yeah, my friends were like that at my old school. The reason I transferred here so late in the year was because my parents finally realised that I was being bullied. It got to the point that I came home with a black eye," he looked like he wanted to shrink into nothing, "Daf, that was there favoutite nickname for me when they would beat the shit out of me."

The term sent shivers down my spine, that's so crule, "Daf, as in Daffodil right?"

He squirmed, nodding, "Yeah. I-uh"

"Hey guys! Jaren's in here with John!" Tyler called, popping into the room.  
I stood, shootinf a smile at Rena, "Good luck." I quickly slipped towards the door, heading out into the backyard once more.

This time I ventured out on to the grass, laying under the stars, closing my eyes, _Why is Tyler such a dick?_ Was the last thought to go through my brain as the soft breeze lulled me to sleep.

One month, that's how long Rena has been at our school. From how she acts now to what she did at the party, the guys are great for her confidence.  
As great as they can be, I'm still the only one to call her Rena. I don't think she's told the others yet. I think she's scared of being judged, of being teased.

"What's up fuckers?" I exclaimed, entering the classroom.

"Fuck off John, we're gaming," Tyler said, staring the the samrtboard.

"It's -"

"John, come and join us. We're playing stick fight and we're short a player."

"Joan." I mumbled to myself. I really preferred Joan over John, Joan was more neutral and therefore better suit me, in my opinion.

I sat down beside Anthony, who offered me the other half of his keyboard.

The game loaded, dropping the blue man into the game, our names appearing above the stick men.

BigJigglyPanda, MiniLadd, Kryoz, Smii7y - Green, Red, Blue, Yellow.

"No fair, John how come you always get the be the blue guy?" Craig complained.

I smirked, _Cause I'm blue_, "Because I sucked off the code creators and they promised that I'd always be the blue one." I replied sarcastically, watching Craig cringe out of the corner of my eye.

We played a few rounds, of which I won most of. Craig and Anthony wandered off to see what the others were doing, leaving me alone with Rena.

"How have you been Joan?" she mused, placing the spare keyboard back in front of the computer next to her.

I rolled my eyes, "Fine. I guess." I really wasn't, but I'd tried so hard to not talk to Rena, when i was with her alone, I just wanted to spill out every thought in my brain, every horrible, twsited thing. This poor soul didn't deserve to be burdened with my brain, no one besides me did.

"Oh, well that's good. I've been fin also." She sated, scratching her wrist.

I smiled, wishing I could just shrink into nothing,_ Don't say something stupid Joan._ Picking at my nails to avoid eye contact.

"That's a nice colour, what shade is it?" she was trying so hard to hold a comversation with me.

I shrugged, "I think the bottle said 'forget me not', I don't even look at those things anymore, if I like the colour, I buy it," I explained.

She grabbed my hand, making my heart race. She put her hand up next to mine, comparing our nails, I hadn't even realised that she had hers painted this whole time.

"Mine is called 'sinner's love', yours is a nicer colour though." The fluorescent classroom lights made the nail polish appear to shine.

"John, I didn't realise you started doing your nails again," someone said from behind us.

Rena dropped my hand, in one swift motion her's were in her pocket.

"Anyway, Renz the other's wanted to invite you to come and play with us."

I sighed in relief, _Thank you Cam._

"Yeah, I'll be over in a moment."

Cam walked away, deagging his feet on the carpet.

"Sorry 'bout dropping your hand like that," she looked really guiltily at me, like she'd commited a crime. Her whole demenor had changed when Cam mentioned my nailss, her posture had dropped and her eyes no longer shon.

She got up, leaving me alone again.  
After a few seconds it dawned on me, _CLOSET_, the word flash across my mind, causing my to smile.

_I am her coping mechanism, her escape, someone who understands._


End file.
